In spite of the fact that I’ve recently realized that only geeks watch “Futurama,” I had to get “Bender’s Big Score” today. But, I’m proud to be a “Futurama” geek, and in the spirit of the season, here’s a list of the best gifts from the film, available only to those with the guts to screw with the space-time continuum.
1. The Doom Meter
The Doom Meter will give the time traveler in your life a heads up to impending doom. The Doom Field in the Time Equation rises exponentially, so knowing when the fabric of causality is in jeopardy can help avert costly mistakes. A duplicate body can emit doom at up to ten times the background doom level, making the Doom Meter an absolute must for those who just can’t resist bringing duplicate bodies back from the past.
2. Torgo’s Executive Powder
Made from the pulverized bodies of the incompetent morons at Box Network who cancelled “Futurama,” Torgo’s Executive Powder is the time traveler’s all-purpose solution to nearly any sticky situation. It can be used to re-capitate severed heads, season food, scrub bathrooms, or as a treat for the jar-weary head.
3. Blasting Clay Dreidel
An all-purpose self-defense resource, the Blasting Clay Dreidel is brought to you by the Hanukkah Zombie, trusted maker of the Undead Jewish TIE Fighter.
4. Holographic Victrola
Holiday parties in any era will sparkle with the Holographic Victrola. Your time traveler will be the life of the party. Also included is the free video course, “How to Be a Kick-Ass DJ in 10 Easy Lessons” by Mixmaster Scruff.
5. Throwback 20th Century Ink
Making friends in the time travel community can be rough, but with this throwback “Thug Life” tat the traveler in your life can increase his street cred immediately. Also available in henna and stick-on. (Time Travel code not included.)
Related Post: Futurama and American Politics
I'm Taylor. This is my classroom. There used to be a "real" teacher behind this blog, but she nagged me all the time about not saying this and not saying that. ~all she ever did was type anyway, since my fingers are stuck together~ So I've taken over.
Yes, I'm an imitation Barbie knock-off doll. What of it? Barbie's got nothing on me! Let me take you to school.
Whoa, soldier! That’s one big widget ya’ got over there! Tone that sucker down, will ya?! Ya’ got my vote, alright??!!
I know! I hate that thing. I have no idea how to make it smaller. It took me a damn hour to get it on there. I’ll probably take it down.
yo…postin’ time! get to it, fine lady.
you’s a nominee!!!
I know, right? But Iz tired and thinking hard about the next one. It’s about female sex organs, so I gotta think hard. Can’t let the edublog folks dictate the flow….
oh, those female sex organs.
oh, and that post ya’ got up there ’bout *gasp* vagina, well, now more than ever:
move North! I don’t know many people surviving down there when they start talking, publicly, ’bout organs, tubes, and vas deferens!
However, doesn’t that mean that we need it more down here?
Besides, it wasn’t technically public. Just m. and 2 or three other girls, and the odd guy who walked in and out. I wasn’t making it the subject of the whole discussion of class. Class starts for us at 8:30!
But still, knowledge is cool. huh huh huh