Taylor the Teacher

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Kate Olson tagged me with Jeff Pulver’s Bucket List meme longer ago than I want to admit. She asked me to list goals I have set for myself in 2008. As crazy as my life is, I’m just thinking about the next few months. I’m sure doing a list like that would help me. But I can’t. What follows is the list of potential bucket lists I contrived in an effort to avoid answering the question:

• A list of things I definitely didn’t want to do.
• A list of things I needed to do this week, with “evaluate direction in life” being the last one on the list, to be done when I can breathe again.
• A list of deeds so outrageous, heroic, and anarchic that nobody would take it seriously.
• A list of qualities I’d like to develop from characters in pop culture.
• A list of things I think other people should do in 2008, or more accurately, as soon as possible.

But then I got serious, and wrote my true list:

• In 2008, I’d like to find my other black shoe. It’s been missing for too long. In fact, it got lost during my debut photo shoot. That was last August. Why don’t I buy another pair of shoes?  How would you feel if all the clothes were made for the “real” Barbies? ~i can’t wear her shoes! i’m not made like all the other fashion dolls. what’s wrong with me? do I look fat?~ Why is it assumed all fashion dolls are alike?

  
• I’d like to finally save enough money for that joint enhancement surgery I’ve been wanting. It’s just not fair that HER legs have joints, and my arms do. Her elbows are perfect. Mine are all crickity-crackety and ugly. It’s a lot more important when I’m getting dressed for my modeling gigs that my legs bend than that my arms do. ~didn’t the people that made me ever dress a fashion doll?~

• I’d like to crusade for fashion dolls everywhere who end up broken. What are we to do? Can we still contribute to society? I’d like to start a think tank to really tackle those questions.

• I’d like to meet with whoever decided Barbie was going to be stripped of any ass whatsoever, so that now I can barely find pants that will fit me. ~oh, so i’m really fat now?~ They need to be told about themselves.

DID

YOU

REALLY

THINK

I’D

 SHOW

 YOU

 A

PICTURE

OF

MY

FAT

 ASS?

• Stalk Barbie. Then “accidentally” meet her on the street, and tell her she has a horse face. ~my chin is much prettier, don’t you think? my eyes, too.~