Taylor the Teacher

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I read a blog post from Nordquist on American Beauty ~which I haven’t seen but now want to~ about how that film changed his life. This resonated with me on several levels.

• He got himself out of a bad career situation, and lived to tell the tale. And he’s not sorry for the change he made.
• He acknowledged what many “schooly” ~to coin a phrase from clay burell~ teachers refuse to acknowledge: film can be a powerful tool for learning.
• He reminded me of a time when a film ~the cider house rules~ changed my life as well, which I’ll have to elaborate on in another post because that’s a whole other story.

TAKING CONTROL

He tells of a horrible job he had that made his stomach tie up in knots. And of oppressive bosses. And of making radical changes.

Each morning I’d arrive at work around 7:30 am. My office was on the third floor and I could take an elevator or the stairs. I’d slog my way up those three flights of stairs as slowly as humanly possible. With each step my stomach would turn into a tighter knot. Step after grueling step. When I finally reached the top, I could almost puke. The hours at work felt like days. It was a living hell.

I can relate. But here’s the inspiring part:

Although the movie isn’t the most cheery, it was uplifting to me because it gave me hope that I could get out of the miserable situation I was in. I didn’t have to continue climbing the stairs to a job that made me sick. I didn’t have to take the abuse this manager dished out on a daily basis. So I decided to talk to my boss when I returned from Orlando and explain to him how I felt and the changes (less travel) that needed to occur so that I could enjoy my job. At least that’s what I thought would happen. Yet a quick meeting with him convinced me nothing was going to change so I did something I’ve never done before in my life:

I WALKED AWAY FROM THE JOB

That really takes courage. But it’s been nine years, and he says he’s still happy he did it. He simply HAD to get out of that “caustic environment.” Since I’m in the middle of trying to make changes in my own life, it’s very helpful to me to hear that it can turn out well. It’s so empowering to think that these are things one can just DECIDE TO DO.

WHY I HAVEN’T WALKED AWAY

I do love teaching film. In fact, the only reason I returned to my present school was because I’d been given Film Criticism for this year. There are days I kick myself for being lured into staying just for that, but ultimately I’m still not sorry. I had written a film curriculum in an independent study when I was in grad school, and did my master’s thesis on the necessity of media literacy for an enlightened citizenry. I had been bucking for that class for a while, and I’m glad I’ve had a chance to teach it.

I don’t even want to think about the amount of money I’ve spent buying DVDs since I learned I would be teaching this class. ~which is why i will have a shit fit heard around the world if bluray or whatever-the-hell-it-is replaces DVD and i can’t play all those HUNDREDS of dollars of films i’ve bought~ I buy about three times as many as I show, just for selection and research. But I’m not sorry for that either. I’m building a great film collection, and I’ve learned more about film myself. Plus, there are several used DVD stores in town where I get great deals, and Amazon dot com can be surprisingly cheap.

It’s not the cake walk it might sound like, however. ~although it beats teaching five sections of English any day in terms of the grading load~ Film Criticism is known as a “discipline problem” class, although I have had practically no trouble. ~fingers crossed~ Hearing students BITCH about every black and white film gets old. I don’t expect every student to like every film. But I do hope, of course, to widen their horizons and get them to open their minds to new films. It doesn’t bother me when students don’t like a film unless I know they didn’t even give it a chance.

I struggle with how to show them that there’s a whole WORLD of excellent films out there, and they don’t all have explosions, bathroom humor, or tits in them. Tomorrow I’m going to show “The Thing from Another World,” which is SO GREAT, but since it’ll be the second black and white film in a row, I’m bracing myself for tantrums. ~wait till i make them read subtitles~

I also miss having the interaction with my classes that I was used to as an English teacher. Showing films all the time means LOTS of time that we’re all sitting quietly, watching. ~watching, by the way, involves the EYES, and watching films critically also involves the BRAIN and ATTENTION SPAN. i feel like a bitch sometimes, but i INSIST that students ACTUALLY WATCH the WHOLE film without sleeping, doing other work, putting on makeup, or talking~ I’m also watching the same movie three times in one day, and this is AFTER several viewings at home, in most cases. It would be so cool if I could pre-screen another film while they watch. But that would require headphones, which is completely unacceptable.

What I wish more people, and teachers in particular, understood is that film is literature. The only reason showing films in school is so frowned upon is because so many teachers don’t know how to teach film. Films are not babysitters.

Film has a grammar of its own. Film combines what we love about books with what we love about visual arts. ~the good ones, anyway~ But so many Americans ~and others?~ don’t even know HOW to watch a film. Truly watching a film is mental work, similar to reading, but most people treat films as background noise.

This is a great waste.